It was December 30th. I was on top. Not pain but, uncertainty and I asked what no man ever wants to hear: We made love under a duvet as the sun shone in my bedroom window. Afterward, [we] talked about [it] for hours and then by that time I was finally turned on enough that we had enjoyable sex. We had just gone to the botanic gardens, holding hands the entire time.
Next of course were high fives and more laughing. We never dated, but we kept meeting like that for the next three years. He was a virgin, too. I was two months shy of my 16th birthday and instead of the sweet seduction of an R. I didn't even realize 'til it was over that I never even got a kiss out of it. He was out of reach until we started joking about it. He was my first love. Every time we made out I made up a silly excuse not to have sex because I was afraid I'd bleed and reveal the embarrassing truth: It didn't hurt at all. As we developed a rhythm, kind of, the doorbell rings, not once but frantically. I say "embarrassing" because I assumed being a virgin at that age was something wrong -- that I was unwanted, ugly, undesirable and therefore, unworthy as a woman, that all the times I had said no to sex because I didn't like the guy or didn't feel confortable with it had made me a prude and that I probably didn't deserve the sex. I wanted to have sex with [my boyfriend] but at the same time I didn't, because I didn't want him to know my secret. But we had been trying for a while. Yes, sex might feel uncomfortable at first, but the idea that penetration is supposed to hurt is a myth! New Year's Eve would have sounded much better! I had a blue lightbulb in the ceiling light of my bedroom. Feel comfortable enough to do whatever feels good. Your value doesn't depend on being wanted by others. Of course, that doesn't mean I needed a man's approval to like myself, but engaging in a very active sex life has made me aware of just how much pleasure the female body is capable of experiencing. I had always heard about [bleeding] but it didn't happen with me. We got to the point of either we do or we don't, so we did. I was nervous, I wanted him to feel he was having sex with a "normal" girl thanks, prejudice so I didn't particularly enjoy it. My mom gave me a ride to his house. The weirdest part was [after] we did it, we got out of the car and we both went our separate ways. He remembered the rest.
Video about girls first time sex experience:
Girls On Having Sex The First Time in India
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