And they know exactly how to mate, the same way that squids have been mating for 46 million years, without any kind of formal instruction whatsoever. So we can see that men and women do not have exactly the same objectives in mind. Clearly what is needed is some kind of book that women and men would want to read, a book that could bring the sexes together and help them reach some common ground by means of a straightforward, common-sense discussion of all aspects of finding the right mate, falling in love with this person, getting married, and living happily ever after. I am not saying this is the most important decision. Endless, constant, extremely difficult, unpaid work. Call me a romantic if you want, but for me, the answer is the same simple, beautiful idea that has been making relationships work for thousands of years: Men read the sports section, or action adventure novels where the main characters are males who relate to each other primarily via automatic weapons.
And they know exactly how to mate, the same way that squids have been mating for 46 million years, without any kind of formal instruction whatsoever. I am getting very tired just thinking about it. But you know what I mean. For example, if you want to meet a person who likes to bowl, you would go to a bowling alley; whereas if you want to meet a person who is rich, sensitive, attractive, and intelligent, you would not. Most of them are much stupider than humans are, not counting humans who pay to watch automobile races, yet they have their male-female relationships all worked out. True, sometimes there are women in these novels, but only for the purpose of having firm breasts. Endless, constant, extremely difficult, unpaid work. Introduction Marriage is a wonderful thing. Try not to blow your nose during sex. Yet here we are, humans, the most sophisticated species on Earth, having evolved over the course of millions of years to the point where many of us have satellite dishes on our lawns, and we have less savvy, in terms of our relationships, than invertebrates. But you should definitely give it some thought. That is why this book includes helpful advice such as in Chapter 3, where we talk about adding zip to your sex life via Saran Wrap and other common household products, and also how to recognize the warning signs that your spouse is having an affair, and what kind of gun you should buy. You give two people room to spread out their toiletry articles, and you have the basis of a long-term relationship. I mean we have a problem here. Call me a romantic if you want, but for me, the answer is the same simple, beautiful idea that has been making relationships work for thousands of years: This was exactly my goal, when I set out to write this book. Also there will be hard times along the way. I am not saying this is the most important decision. Men read the sports section, or action adventure novels where the main characters are males who relate to each other primarily via automatic weapons. I mean, look around at the other species. Tickets for the World Series. Or a male cockroach nervously asking a female, after sex, if it was Good for her? Of course even an ideal marriage, even a marriage where the bathrooms are 75 feet apart, is going to have a certain amount of conflict. For a relationship to succeed, both parties must be willing to work. The female squid goes into heat at exactly the right time, and all the male squids come around and wave their tentacles in exactly the most attractive way, and she picks out the one with the biggest suckers, or whatever and they mate. Which is why, as a rule, the only time you see two people of the opposite sex who have achieved true long-term stability in a marriage is when at least one of them is in a coma.
Video about newlyweds what to do with sex:
Our First Night Together
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